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15TH BLACKOUT: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDMA!
Well today was another one of those up and down kinda days. Woke up thinking about janine, feelig pretty good, did a few posts. then it was on to the drudgery of looking for more subliminals, which is never fun. Then my mom calls me. damn. Totally forgot today is my grandmother's birthday, and my mom wants me to go out to lunch with her, my brother and my grandma and then back to mom's house to open presents. shit. presents.
She says don’t worry, she already bought a present to be from me, I just have to sign the card. I ask what it is im giving her, she says a "pantsuit." I'm like yeah, grandmas really gonna believe I bought her a pantsuit, I don’t even know what that is. I tell her I'm not feeling well, but my mom says okay, then you'll just have to call your poor old grandmother up and tell her yourself that you don’t care enough about her to come see her on her birthday. DAMMIT! I think my mom must of got a phd. in guiltology. I tell her okay, but my cars not working so she has to come pick me up, and she just sighs.
So we all go to Sonny's bbq, and I'm thinking yeah, real special birthday place, but that's what she wanted. I'm freaking inside cuz the place is packed with the after-church crowd all in their sunday best and there's like a million kids all over the place, and I'm just praying I don't have a blackout here. there's some big-ass dudes here, and sonny's wooden benches are welded in pretty tight. then I decide to think positive like rob, so I just relax and look forward to a real meal of actual food items (2 days in a row even!). got the all-u-can-eat bbq pork and ended up eating 4 plates full with fries, slaw and like 6 pieces of garlic bread. my mom said I wsa like the wild man of borneo, whatever that means.
We go back to my moms house, we open presents, have cake. the last thing I remember thinking was, "geez, how am I eating this cake, I'm already so full…" and then I blacked out. I wake up on the floor with my brother holding me down by the shoulders. my throat is burning. I hear screaming, crying, the end table lamp is smashed on the floor. then I smell puke. I look up and my mom is wiping down the front of granmas shirt with a towel, and they're both crying hysterically. there's barf all over the front of grandma, on the couch, and the carpet in front of it. Tommy lets me up, and my mom just starts SCREAMING at me, how could you do this, leave it to you to ruin grandmas special day, this is the lowest thing you've ever done… She tells tommy to take grandma home because she needs to talk to me alone. Grrrrreat.
So she just says, okay explain yourself. I say, what did I do? WHAT DID YOU DO?!? she screams, you know what you did. I said no mom, really I don't remember, what did I do?
"Are you on drugs?"
"Yeah, I wish."
"That's not funny! What is wrong with you? Pitching a fit like that, breaking my lamp, calling grandma a bitch?"
"i called grandma a bitch?"
"You got right up in her face and yelled BRING IT, BITCH! Tommy had to pull you off because you were about to headbutt her, and then you threw up on her! Does any of that ring a bell, you little prick?"
actually mom, not really. She's crying again, asking, what's wrong with you. she keeps stretching out the "o", what is wrooooooong with you, and the sound is like a knitting needle in my eardrum. I tel lher it’s a long story. she says look at you, ever since you and Karen broke up you've been moping around that apartment, not working, not going to school, not doig anything. you need to just grow up, get over it, and quit feeling sorry for yourself. I tell her no that’s not it, that i haven't even thoght about karen for along time, i thinkg there's something wrong with my brain. She says, well if theres something wrong with your brain then we need to see a doctor. "We" need to see a doctor. great.
She drives me home and doesn’t say a word the whole ride home. I'm getting out of the car, and she says, "are you eating?" I say, yeah, didn’t you see grandmas shirt? We both kind of laugh, and then she just says, I'm worried about you,honey. then she gives me $40 and says make sure your eating. I told her to tell grandma I was sorry. At least she got that nice pantsuit though.
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Posted by beta-7 at July 20, 2003 07:24 PM
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